I feel awful that I ever let you down like this. You are such an incredible partner and I love you so much.I'm so sorry that I hurt you and I'm going to work hard to never be so careless again. You deserve better and if you are willing to forgive me, I'm ready to be better for you. I feel absolutely terrible about our fight.Take whatever time you need to process your feelings, and when you're ready I’d love to apologize again face-to-face. I’ve had some time to cool down and really consider my behavior.I heard what you said and how it made you feel. First and foremost, I just wanted to text you to tell you I know I really blew it. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. The worst part about it all is how I made you feel. I'm really ashamed of how I behaved yesterday. I'm going to spend some serious time working on understanding why I lash out and change my behavior. You have every right to be offended and hurt, and I'm truly sorry. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I said last night and I really crossed the line. Here are some examples of what that apology text could look like.īJI / Blue Jean Images/blue jean images/Getty Images All of this might seem like a lot to get into one text, but it is doable (and you don’t need to write a novel for it, either). You might not be able to take back what you did or said, but you can pledge to do better in the future. It should also include your concrete action plan to alter the behavior that made the apology necessary. A good apology will acknowledge what you did and reaffirm that your partner has the right to be angry with you. But at the end of the day, every method should have the same basic components. Whatever route you take, it should feel authentic to the way you typically communicate. How to apologize to your boyfriend for hurting his feelings or how to make amends with your girlfriend for making her upset varies depending on your personalities. “Think for a second about what it would be like if you experienced what they experienced.” Checks out. (FYI, if you aren’t paying attention, it’s a lot harder to know where exactly you went wrong.) “It's OK to pause, to consider how that impacted them and what it might be like if you were in their shoes,” McBride explained. It also makes it easier to ensure you won’t make the same mistake again. Listening shows that you care about how your mistake affected your SO. In fact, taking the time to take in your partner’s response is what makes any apology (virtual or IRL) legit. A huge part of apologizing is listening, or, in this case, reading. “The apology means nothing if you haven't listened to what the other person said,” McBride told Bustle. It’s also important to recognize that a genuine apology will likely require more than one message - no matter how perfect your original text may be, a good apology usually sparks a more in-depth, back-and-forth conversation. “Start with a couple of phrases, ‘I would much rather have this conversation in person, but…' and, 'I realize that some of what I'm sharing is one-sided or through my lens, and I'd love to understand yours,’” Armstrong recommended. In a previous conversation with Elite Daily, Armstrong suggested sending a quick preface to set up an effective apology text. Fortunately, Chris Armstrong, the founder of relationship coaching company Maze of Love, and Hillary McBride, registered clinical counselor, helped clarify things. Fair enough, but the question of how to say sorry to your boyfriend in a text or how to apologize to your girlfriend over iMessage in a genuinely remorseful way remains. If you’re in a position where you can’t drop everything to say sorry in person, sending an apology text can let your SO know that you know you messed up and that you want to start making amends ASAP. Now, an in-person apology is usually preferred, but a texted apology can work, too. And although you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself (everyone makes mistakes, after all) these kinds of situations usually call for a more in-depth apology than a simple “I’m sorry.” Those aren’t always easy to make. There’s nothing worse than the sinking feeling you get when you know you've crossed a line, said something hurtful, or betrayed someone's trust - especially when you've done it to your partner.
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